Lesson Learned (Hopefully)

I believe in God. And I try my hardest to live my life for Him. I am not very good at it at times, but I do try! It is said that all you need is to have “faith like a child.” When I stop to think about it, I do feel that this is true. But sometimes a “child”-like faith gets you into trouble. Well if you’re me it does.


A little after Miriam turned 2 1/2 she learned the word: Why? (Even, as I type this I can hear her little voice in my head) If you are a parent, you know how incredibly annoying this question can get when it is repeated throughout the day. And like most parents out there, I usually end the long list of “whys?” with, “BECAUSE I AM THE MOTHER, THAT’S WHY!!!” (I have waited my whole life to use that. Ha!)

Well like a child, I have been known to whine to my Father, “Why?” “Why?” “Why?” I have asked why to so many troubles and “bumps in the road” that have not been in MY life plan. “WHY did this person lie to me?” “WHY did you take my mom away?” “WHY did this or that happen?” “WHY? WHY? WHY? …” The list really does go on and on. Like most parents, God has tried being patient with me, throughout the years he has generally shown me answers to my questions.

Yet, there is me who keeps asking and asking. The more I found myself asking “Why?,” the more I felt I was entitled to an answer. And when I didn’t get one or it wasn’t the answer I wanted, I became an angry temper tantrum throwing 2 yr old. Not a pretty sight. Anger, bitterness and rage were taking over my life.

Lately, I felt him get a bit annoyed and he finally yelled, “BECAUSE I AM THE FATHER, THAT’S WHY!”

You see God doesn’t need to answer any of my questions, he is GOD. He can do as he likes!  I am the child and like a child I should just TRUST that he is directing my life in a way that a loving parent would. He is there to protect me and promises to not bring harm to me. (What more do I need.)

Most of you who KNOW me, know that it is not easy for me to trust anyone, even God. Well these past few weeks I have been trying to listen to him and be obedient. He has provided me with many opportunities to release the “reins” of my life and have faith in him. Because I am new to this there have been a few days where I tried to be old Jaime, but God has whispered to me and I have listened and let go. When I feel the need to burden him with a Why or the same prayer over again, I have heeded to what I learned from my devotional and just simply said,

“God, thank you for the answers that are yet to come!”

There is so much peace I feel throughout the last couple of days because of my submission. I am thankful to Him for being a patient and (unconditionally) loving parent.

Over a Year...

And I am sure we have totally lost our few followers. I can't believe I haven't posted since October of 2009. Wow! I will be making a point to try and update this more frequently.